Wake-Up Call.

I am new to this whole blogging thing, but I really feel like so many thoughts that I have floating around in my mind vanish if I don't write them down, so I think I'm finally going to give this a shot.

A pet peeve of mine is bloggers who feel the need to state their thoughts or opinions in a matter-of-factly tone, as if what they have to say is going to make it into the LA Times. My only hope through all of this is to state my crazy thoughts in a humble manner and maybe even be able to help someone who is experiencing the same struggles that I am. I don't plan on many people reading what I have to say, but if someone does happen to stumble across my words, and I am coming across as self-righteous, please please confront me on it!

Speaking of humble intentions, it seems like every time I get to thinking that I have life figured out I am humbled by God, and not just humbled, but mega-humbled. Just when I get lost enough in my stupid naturalistic mindset and start to think that I have even an ounce of control over my life, I get a wake-up call. It's so easy for me to sound very mono tone about the whole thing, but this most recent experience has been one I'll never forget. Painful is an understatement.

At the age of 21, almost 22, I am finally coming to the realization that my intentions are not good enough anymore. I am just not intentional enough with them. I need Jesus. I need this God that I've claimed to have followed over the past couple of years to lead me. I am done trying to lead myself, I am done trying to live for acceptance, for comfort, for vanity. I cannot add Jesus to my life anymore, that is a very popular thing to do nowadays, something I've done for so long, but I can't do it anymore, I won't.

Another pet peeve of mine is those who present themselves with this holier-than-thou mentality, to feel the need to use fancy words and get super-preachy. Head knowledge can only get you so far. I don't ever want to present myself in that manner, because if anyone has some learning to do it is me. I'm finding that out more and more each and every day. I'm a baby in this faith and while I have the head knowledge, I'm thirsting for that faith to act on that knowledge. Anyone can say that they believe something, believe scripture, believe in God. But how much weight do those words hold if you're not acting on them? I'm saying these things as a guy who is just as guilty of them as anyone else, but I want change, my heart burns for it. Not temporary change, but genuine lasting change.

So my desire through this whole blog thing is to hopefully gather some like-minded believers who desire that same change, to build me up as I help build them up. To grow with brothers and sisters who want to love our God with a love that maybe sometimes doesn't make sense, and to motivate and love each other through the good times and the bad. Maybe that's a stretch but it's a goal. I'm still the same crazy, funny, music loving, drives too fast, hopeless romantic Adam but I'm just trying to take that next step into loving God at my full capacity and I would love your help. And if the only thing that comes out of this blog is a chance to ramble about little nothings in my life and to look back at this crazy season in my life, well then that's okay too.